The Laptop Paradox

Commence the era of wireless blogging. Freedom.

Commence the era of guilt-ridden parenting from said luxury. Incarceration.

I’ve been dropping hints (is “I want a laptop by Christmas” a hint?) of my desire for a laptop for months. Seriously, no one will believe me when I say this, but there were two driving forces that facilitated my yearning for a laptop:

1) the ability to have a machine ALL to myself, with no one to dictate where and how I should save files (my desktop looks like it was puked upon) or how the things I download could cause potential breaches or deadly viruses . Ah, the life of a wife of a Type A computer genius.

2) The two computers we do have are loud. No, I mean DEAFENING. To the point where I honestly feel like they are penetrating my brain with harmful waves of some sort. To the point where I do not like my children in the same room as the computer because of the annoying, high pitched, ear-drum piercing sound that emanates from the machines.

I wanted something whisper quiet. And in a moment of sheer surprise, my husband presented it to me the night before we departed for Chicago. Gone were my woes about having to wait in Black Friday lines in hopes of snatching up a laptop for a few benjamins. And for that, he’s a good, good man.

No really, the thought of having the freedom to blog-n-browse anywhere in my house does not appeal to me. Because I know the slippery slope this can create, the beckoning call of an open laptop sitting on the couch or bar top. Like a trashy gossip magazine at the market checkout, you just can’t help but take a peek at those celebrities with all that cellulite. No bueno. Able to now actually hear the thoughts lolling in my brain, I wonder if self-imposed time limits on wasting time on the web important business are imminent.

And with a laptop being so accessible at lower altitudes (i.e. on a coffee table instead of a desk), the image of a sippy cup accident gone wrong on my keyboard scares me shitless. Little hands able to have close encounters with my laptop also conjures up vile thoughts of files being zapped. And I just don’t need any more of that.

But here I am, legs stretched and sprawled across the coffee table, back leaning into the leather of the sofa cushion, laptop on top…of my lap. I watch Kaia flip through a book while randomly singing Happy Birthday and see Indi jiggle in her Exersaucer.

Benefit #1 of laptop (aka “rationalization”): I can watch my kids in full, plain view instead of peeking around the corner of the office wall mid-wail. With this freedom, I envision many a disaster averted, although that may also include a laptop being flung through the air during rescue efforts.

Note to self: Cover lounging area in pillows and keep a clear path.