Twenty

As they say, half way there (give or take).


Half way to the first surge that tells me babylabor is commencing.   Half way to to first vomiting session.   Half way to the moan and full body breath of transition.  Half way to the pushing of body out of body and the stretching of flesh and spirit.  Halfway to babe in arms and first breath.    Halfway to a more full family.    More.   More smiles.  More messes.  More diapers.  More love.  More sobs.  More screams and whines.  More laughter.  More joy.  More “What the hell were we thinking?”  More “Thank you for coming, baby”.

This baby is a milestone baby, I’ve said.   Didn’t hear a heartbeat until 12 weeks.  Didn’t feel a kick until 18 weeks.   But now, the kicking has become more and more frequent and I am loving every moment of it.  This baby is much more mellow in utero than the two sisters.   Baby moves late in the evening, when the heartbeats of my two girls have slowed to sleeping.  And baby kicks in the morning, when the desert sun starts to lift it’s arms over the mountains.   About two weeks ago, Jason laid his head on my belly – ear to skin – and baby gave him a hearty karate-chop right in his ear.  This was the first movement Jason had felt and grinned from baby-kicked ear to ear.    As for me, I’m looking forward to the big movements and to being able to palpate baby.     I love this baby so deeply and know it chose to come to us very intentionally.

My days look like this:

  • 7:30 am: Drag ass out of bed to pee.
  • 7:45:  Snuggle back in bed and hope Jason gets up to feed the kids.
  • 8:00:  Get up to either help with kids or feed them their breakfast they’ve been begging for for 15 minutes.  Dole out their vitamins.
  • 8:15:  Eat an egg with sea salt and some toast with honey.  Or a bagel with cream cheese.  Browse emails and Facebook.
  • 8:30:  GULP.  That’s water and my prenatal supplements going down the chute.   As of today, minty Chlorophyll will be added to that water.
  • 8:35:  SWIG.  That’s the shot of Floradix I’m swallowing.   My iron levels were down about a month ago – for the first time in any pregnancy –  so this is one of the ways I’ve been ramping them up.  I feel measurably better, energy wise, since then.
  • Between 9:00 and Lunchtime:  GLUG.  That’s the chocolate whey protein shake I’m drinking in one fell swoop.
  • Lunchtime:  GRIIIIIIIIIND.  CHUG A LUG.  That’s the juice I’m drinking from the Juicer.   Usually spinach and parsley and carrot with a multitude of fruits added in.   This has also added to my much improved energy level and less desire for sugar (Um, I said “Less”.  I still love my sugar).  My kids love the juice, even when it’s green (as long as I don’t juice Kiwi’s in Indigo’s).
  • Until Jason Gets Home:   Drinking water, corralling kids, cleaning up Legos, breaking up fights, allowing fights, cleaning poop, checking email,  peeing, reading books, coloring with the girls, arranging play dates, folding laundry.
  • Dinnertime:  SWIG.  Another shot of Floradix.  I try not to think about how one of my clients thinks it tastes like blood.
  • After dinner:  Bedtime ritual.  Attempt to wake Jason when he falls asleep with kiddos.  Pee.  Eat some Cheerios.  Fall into bed around 11.

Honestly, all the chugging and swigging and glugging and eating is hard for me.   I feel like I’m some kind of unkempt bartender, always in the kitchen mixing up a concoction and trying to remember to get it all in.    In the end, it’s worth it and I feel more ME.

All in all, 20 weeks has me feeling hopeful, healthy, and intensely nesting.   I’m hunting Goodwill for housewares to decorate our sadly barren space, have reserved my birth tub, am planning on some kind of schooling for Kaia in the next few months, and have already organized and arranged my linen closet/towels/sheets in preparation for the birth.   Ha!

Oh, sweet, sweet baby.  How you’ve rocked my world.   Ben Folds and Regina Spektor style.

“And suppose I never met you

Suppose we never fell in love”

It’s ALL good.

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10 thoughts on “Twenty

  1. oh baby love!
    so intentionally.
    magical third.
    the circle comes full (but there is always room for more, a circle never ends:-)
    heart opening ahs and ohs and wows.
    you do the glugs and the swigs with grace.
    baby says THANK YOU~
    thank you for holding this life, a life I know I will cherish along side you.

    mb

  2. Honey,

    I cannot wait to hold your precious new baby. My soul soars with each new life which fills the future with promise yet unknown.

    I love you…and your dear family…always….

    Dad

  3. wow – I can’t believe you are already halfway to newborn holding bliss! I am hoping this will be the easy, peaceful birth you deserve after the last 2 challenges…. xoxo

  4. So fantastic…chug and love, its all so true, so many memories of special drinks, they are a HUGE part of pregnancy, for me they were just like you, teas, protien shakes, juices, water…so glad youre writing, think of you daily, hugs from Joy

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