Where the Heart (and Placenta) Is

Goldfish, Cookies, and a packet of oatmeal.  That’s what remains of the food in our pantry, the other boxes of half-empty pasta and two-year old rice packed away for a few days until the big move. 

Packing has gone – erhm – slowly.  Much slower than I ever had anticipated.  Since the time of my last post, I think I single-handedly packed one box and about 10 bags of clothing.   The last few days have been full of lovely friends trekking up here to assist in the effort, giggling at the ordinary items of mine that seem interesting to them (other people’s shit is always interesting, isn’t it?).  An unopened package of “Holiday Mint Lip Balm” picked up two years ago from the dollar rack.  A hand-painted glass ornament given as a gift from a boss that hasn’t seen the branch of a Christmas tree.  A pair of avocado stilettos.   Shoe after shoe, handbag after handbag.  A sitz bath (“get rid of this!”).

We move in two days.  I am oh so ready, yet haven’t processed the big emotion of leaving the home in which Kaia learned to walk and in which Indigo slipped from my womb into my husband’s waiting hands.  No, I am not prepared for that.

Just like I can’t figure out for the life of me what to do with Indigo’s placenta that’s been chillin (hardy har) in my freezer for a year.  I am not ready yet to plant it, to give up the last physical reminder (um, besides the 5+ lbs and muffin-top) of Indigo’s life within my body.  It’s a strange, deep, blissful attachment I have to that amazing organ with a knotted umbilicus.  And so, it will travel with us to the new house until I dream up a great plan for its use.

My posting will continue to be sporadic as I attempt to “organize” and unpack our new home.  We have more walls to paint, landscaping installation to oversee, floors to sweep, furniture to move. And a celebratory foxtrot to perform on the wide open expanse of the great room’s wood floor.


We celebrated my sweet Indigo’s first birthday last Sunday, June 22.  I have been too overwhelmed with sleep deprivation and emotion to process my thoughts about her quickly-zooming first 12 months.  Words will come to me soon.  The gift of her wide-open heart and her scrunchy eyes and elfish giggle leave me remembering that love cures all.  I can ask for no more than what she offers freely:  pure magic.


10 Comments Add yours

  1. Chelsea says:

    Wow – I wish you lots of strength and patience for your upcoming move. I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was stalking your blog – waiting for Indigo’s birth. I am looking forward to a more in-depth update on your precious girls once you get settled in the new place. And – let me know when you decide what to do with the placenta – as Sammy’s is still in my freezer waiting for its fate as well… I dried his umbilical cord in the shape of a heart a few days after the birth and I have it in a frame with a photo of his birth (I did the same with Rosie’s).

  2. Chelsea says:

    oh – BTW – I may be the only other person on the planet with a pair of avocado stilettos ….
    as modeled by Rosie here:
    mommy's shoes

  3. you had me at avacado stilettos. don’t worry about the words – the words can wait, and so will we. Good luck with the move darling, and congrats on a fresh start!

  4. clmama says:

    How great to read you today. I am so happy that you are moving and finding this new place as home. More magic will come to you there, I know it. Change (and boxes) can be hard, but newness rocks. Hugs to you – and a happy 1st birthday…

  5. Doulala says:

    Ready for the painting party?!?

  6. Karen says:

    Get rid of your sitz bath??? I was *in love* with mine!

    Don’t forget to steal a tile or piece of something from the old house to make someting with.

    I now want a pair of avacodo heels–seems like all the cool girls are wearing them.

    And if you can get Do U La-la? to help paint, then send her over to my house when you are done with her…

  7. oh my goodness! i forgot that ava and indi share a birthday. how very special! happy birthday indi, and happy birthing day, mama. 🙂
    best wishes w/ your move.

  8. bella says:

    THinking of you, hoping you are on your way to beginning to feel settled in the new place.
    love to you.

  9. Jen H. says:

    Happy birthday Indi! Belated, sorry! I can’t believe last summer’s babes are turning one. Cameron’s birthday is in less than two weeks, and I keep staring at him and thinking he seems way too babyish to be turning one. Surely my older child was much older and bigger when he turned one? Seems that way now.

    I have two placentas in my freezer, one of which was moved to this house 2.5 years ago, and is now over four years old. SIGH.

    Hope the move went well. I imagine you are getting pretty settled in by now.

  10. Pingback: sitz bath

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