My body curls around Kaia as she rests mere inches from the edge of the bed, a sippy cup hugging her chest. She breathes out one of those priceless sleep-induced sighs of contentment and her hair tickles my nose.

Behind me, Indi’s legs occasionally twitch and pitter-patter on my back. Her dreamy squeaks fill my ears.

I stretch my feet to reach Jason’s warm toes and silently they entangle, rubbing together like crickets making music.

A child’s beating heart between each of us.

Forty toes in a full-sized bed.



Our little IKEA platform bed is my thinking spot. Is is my healing space, my solace, my sanctity. It is the launch pad for which my physical body has separated and traveled through the astral realm. It is the place that I sobbed with my husband – my very first child upon my chest – when we returned home from her birth in the hospital. It is the soft, spongy refuge in which I held my daughter Indi just minutes after her arrival, reveling in the love affair of a long-awaited home birth.

My bed whispers at night, begging me to rest and dream of star travels and commune with friends near and far.

It is the thing I miss the most when traveling.

But what I love it most for, right here right now, is how is cradles our sleeping family snugly.

And still I laugh when I think…

Forty toes in a full-sized bed.


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Aimee says:

    I love the 40 toes in a full sized bed. So cute. 🙂

    Ikea platform bed? Which one do you have? My husband and I were just discussing last night that we need to do that to save us some space in our bedroom.

    Our bed is our thinking spot too. My husband and I always work through our ideas and dreams there. It’s important to have a good strong bed for that.

  2. Oh, how I wish I had enjoyed co-sleeping. Between my back pain and feeling like a prisoner (no matter what I tried, M never slept for longer than 20 or 30 minutes if I got up), the inability to move and be in a position that was comfortable to me (my nipple was never allowed to be more than a few inches from her mouth), there was just too much discomfort and resentment. We did it for 9 months, and getting my bed back to myself was absolute heaven. Philosophically, though, it is undeniably the best thing. Maybe this time around we can make it work …

  3. Joanna says:

    I completely love this post and what it means, Leigh – love!

  4. isabel says:

    I feel the same way about my bed. It is sanctuary for me.

    though I’m not sure how you manage forty toes. 🙂
    Sometimes, when Leo sleeps with us, he insists on sleeping vertical to us rather than parallel and his ten toes end up squished in my face.

    It is wonderful to hear such contentment and joy from you, like deep breaths and long slow exhales.

  5. Heather says:

    Kaia was in the bed? Wow. How’d that happen?

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