Newborn Bliss

I’m still taking easy – a bit sore and tired – but wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for the well wishes and the love. We are feelin’ it all! Oh, and go here to see a newborn pic that my friend Jeanette took of Indi a few days ago.

Indi is a gentle soul: mellow, wise, and a divinely succulent creature to nuzzle and nurse. We are working out a kink or two with cloth diapering and co-sleeping (i.e. we need a bigger bed!) but I can’t stop feeling like I’m in a dream when I see her sweet face next to mine in the new-morn light. I had somehow forgotten how blissful the newborn stage is, how pure it feels to hold your fresh child in the palm of your hands, knowing they were within the sanctity of your womb just days prior. As I kiss and rub my face against hers, I feel primal and instinctively protective. I even had a bit of a tough time washing the “birth” off of her two days ago – somehow fiercely attached to even those little swatches of dried blood on her fuzzy head.

I still can hardly believe it: born at home. Born at home, born at home, born at home. The words alternate between sounding foreign in my mouth to at last sinking in as sweet as sugar as if they have always belonged there, coursing through my body. Life has come full circle in just under two years. When I replay the birth journey of just five days ago in my mind, I am stunned that I did it – that WE did it – and feel victorious in a place of true peace. I am surrounded by spiraling, loving energy.

Big sister Kaia is a sweetheart, only having select moments of jealously, particularly in the morning when she just wants Mamatime. I have teared up more than once as I notice how much she has grown; quickly evidenced by how heavy she feels in my arms now, how she towers in stature compared to Indi, how her innocence shines through. She has enjoyed the added bonus increased attention from Daddy, becoming his right-hand gal, his partner-in-crime.

Speaking of Dad, his girls have him wrapped! Watching him love and nurture them melts my heart. A few nights ago, I heard him whisper to Indi as he cuddled her close. He was telling her how much he loved his girls and how he has a big job as a Daddy to set a good example of what it means to be a real man. And when he says “real man”, I rest totally easy because I know he means the kind of man we all want our girls to fall in love with, to connect with on a deep soul level. A man like her Mama loves. A man like him.


18 Comments Add yours

  1. Heather says:

    I don’t think we wiped Albie off until he started to stink, lol.

    The part about her daddy whispering to her made me get all teary eyed. I’m so happy for all of you. YOU DID IT!

  2. Thank you for sharing Indi with us, your readers. “Born at home, born at home, born at home.” I can’t tell you how much that fills me with hope…

  3. Beth says:

    I have to say I am a bit jealous after 2 c-sections, but so happy for you, a mama I’ve never met, that you did it your way!

  4. mb says:

    oh leigh leigh leigh leigh leigh….

    there was never any doubt that a fierce, gentle, willful, wise creature like you would not surrender into this birth, the birth that you knew was so yours in your heart/soul/cell memory. but i know how magical and momentous and simple and HUGE it feels, regardless. To HBAC, to allow Indi to emerge in her own and unique and creative way, to know that she knew…how utterly incredible for you!!! you:woman.friend.sister…i celebrate this with you. this normal, peaceful, empowering, intense journey is all yours, but I hold the feeling of amazement next to you.

    Though I never experienced a hospital birth, I do remember those first weeks of laying next to Mia and being in Awe: born at home? born at home!!! wow. wow. wow. i just couldn’t believe it was real.

    enjoy these moments. enjoy all moments.

    when i looked in Indi’s eyes yesterday, i saw pure majestic, mysterious magic. I look forward to learning how this little person unfolds in this world. How lucky we are to have her.

    give Kaia big kisses from her girlfriends, K?


  5. nishioo says:

    she’s such an angel! Congratulations, again. A million times over. Enjoy this magical time. :::big hugs:::

  6. Ninotchka says:

    Ooops! That was me. (nishioo = natalie)

  7. Born at home. Born at home. Born at home born at home bornathomebornathomebornathomebornathome. BORN AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

    She is beautiful. I love the picture of Kaia with her. Enjoy that babymoon. Drink her up.

  8. Joanna says:

    You have a lovely daugther, Leigh; Jeanette’s photo is amazing, as well. I also remember when my second was born and holding my firstborn son; he seemed, suddenly, so big-boy to me then, even though he still *was* mere babe at 21 months. Newborns are delicious. Enjoy your babymoon and rest, rest — congrats on your home birth —

  9. Doulala says:

    She is perfect! Both of them are. We will be bringing you food soon. Thing 1 is very anxious to come see you. This morning he said “Mommy the sun’s up. Can we go to Wee’s house today?”

  10. Chelsea says:

    beautiful, just beautiful… so happy you got to have an amazing and peaceful home birth – your words make me anxious for my new little one to get here…

  11. Brooke says:

    Leigh, Just look at your girls! They are a dream…each of them taking you to your edges and leading you – through their birth – into the motherhood that they needed. You are a growing tribe of powerful women and Jason knows this. What a man. I can’t wait to see you in person, to bask in Indy’s (Indie’s?) glory with you. I want to touch her tiny fingers, eat her scrumptuous newborn toes and smell her yummy scalp. Newborn bliss for sure!

    Love to one and all.

  12. Kim says:

    Dearest Goddess Sister,
    You did it, and Indigo did it. How I wish I were you right now. You did it. The beautiful pictures and smiles that only sisters could give, touch my heart and bring on tears. Thank you for the pictures. Someday, I will be you, a powerful, birthing, mother goddess, who gently brings her warrior daughter into this world. A mother who somehow heals the wounds of the first childs birth. A mother who is all about forward movement. Enjoy this babymoon my friend. I live vicariously thru you for now, but not forever. You did it. What a beautiful family,

  13. sarah says:

    I am so touched by your beautiful post.

    Enjoy breathing in your new baby and the beauty of your changed family.

  14. New Mama says:

    Do you really have to make me cry every time with your posts, lol? I don’t even know you, and I am proud of you and happy for your family. You all are beautiful.

  15. diane says:

    oh leigh, this is so wonderful. i am so happy you had your homebirth and your babies are beautiful (just like their mama!). and as always, i have to thank you for helping me with my homebirth. my precious one is on my back right now sleeping. and i so understand about waking up in the morning to a babe in your arms. it is magical. i love you!

  16. amygeekgrl says:

    i can’t articulate how happy i am for you. that you were able to birth your way AT HOME! 🙂

    rest all that you can. enjoy your sweet beautiful girls and your amazing husband. your words take me back to those first few weeks after julian was born. such a magical time indeed. soak it up. 🙂

  17. amygeekgrl says:

    happy birthday to kaia today! just saw the msg over on maya’s mom. hope you have a fun day with your big girl! 🙂

  18. Jen H. says:

    Way to go, mama! Your girls are indeed beautiful. I remember not washing the crusty bits of dried blood out of Andrew’s hair for days. It felt like I was washing his newness away. But oh how sweet he smelled after that…

    I hope you are managing lots of rest and bonding and delicious togetherness.

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