New Moon Update

Because I know how anxious I get when I’m following an “almost-due” mama’s blog, I thought I’d be kind and provide a pregnancy update to my scores upon scores of adoring, waiting, faithful readers (LOL) on the night following the new moon.

The news is that there is no news.

And I’m perfectly fine with that.

(Oh, and that if I’m up to it, I will try to post something brief when news occurs.)

The truth is, I feel really good. My energy has begun to pick back up and sustains me throughout most of the day. My “broken” toe ended up just being jammed, which my chiro swiftly moved back into place and which my acupuncturist/healer did miraculous work on as well through moxibustion. I’ve managed to finally have every single piece of laundry in my house washed, dried, sorted, and hung (gasp!) which will probably be the only time in the history of my family that this freak incident will occur. My constant heartburn has ceased (except for after eating a lemon popsicle), my only indication that my mystery baby is in a favorable head down position. Other than that, all bets are off as to whether this babe will arrive on this Earth feet first or head first. I’ve made peace with it – really envisioned and embraced my birth journey – either way. Baby is still very moveable in my belly, which continues to change shape most every day.

I’m sleeping good, taking more intentional time to reconnect with my daughter and my husband, and have experienced a renewed sense of calm and anticipation. Oh yeah, and my birth tub was filled Friday, which I’ve been enjoying immensely at least twice a day, as indicated in the photo below (my friend Maisha just called to say I had “the look” in this photo – she caught a sneak peak on Flickr before I posted this. I told her it’s my tired-Mama look which I get a few weeks before birthing, but who knows!?).

My body has been prepping itself with slight cervical changes that I’ve been feeling and a barely noticeable awareness of pressure in my yoni-region. Other than that, I’m trekking along, not experiencing that anxious desire for “baby to come out right now” nor that dread for the journey ahead of me. I will admit that the prospect of baby showing up on my due date in just four days is a bit daunting. I think I’d prefer next weekend, but hey…I’m up for anything. I’m holding, listening, floating silently, dreaming, creating, letting go, expanding, releasing, breathing-fire, and connecting. I’m in that baby dance mode, at times moving to the fleshy beat of the tango or sashaying smoothly and slowly to the fluid rhythm of the waltz.

I wrote last night to my womb-baby:

“Your birth and your life will be a gift to us, your family. You will renew our spirit, refresh our love, and infuse more soul in our lives. Honestly, it is still hard to comprehend that you will be here, in my arms at any moment. You are my voodou baby, who I feel twist and turn and kick and hiccup every day, and yet part of me has no concept of feeling you against my skin. I know I experienced this with Kaia too. But that precise moment that I saw her, I realized I’d known her forever. It will be the same with you, baby love. You have resided in my heart always.

As for your mysterious positioning, I believe it is not my job to worry. I released worry and concern long ago, because I remember that:

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoom.

There is no worry, no fear, in our relationship, sweet baby. I know, I know, I know that you know how to be born. I wait gratefully with arms and body wide open – however you decide to be born – and anticipate with sweetness the meeting of your knowing gaze.”

My plans for the next week include not much, which is how I really prefer it. I may get another chiro adjustment or two, attend my prenatal, and continue alternately lounging and nesting in my home. As a final touch, I’ve decorated my birth space in our bedroom with some thrift store fabrics and tapestries (you can see the mosquito net above the birth tub in the photos), as well as candles and sentimental objects.

One night, as we prepared to lay our tired bodies down for bed, my husband looked around the room softly aglow in candlelight. He turned to me and said, with a deep exhale: “This is a great place to birth a baby”.

I agree, my love. I agree. And birthing we shall be doing soon.


9 Comments Add yours

  1. Heather says:

    That picture is AWESOME! You are both just radiating light.

    Thanks for the update. I was wondering…

    This baby knows how to be born and you know how to birth it. I am sending you strength and love and courage and moonbeams…

  2. Jen H. says:

    You are in such a great place now, with everything ready and waiting (and the laundry done – wow!). What a wonderful chance to turn inward and connect with your baby and reconnect with your husband and daughter. I hope I have a week or two in that same state towards the end. Blessings on you and your family, and beautiful birth wishes sent your way.

  3. Brooke says:

    Look at the two of you! Kaia is definitely vibing on all the mamalove she is getting right now. I’m so glad you were able to leave work and have time to settle into this pregnancy, into the last days with Kaia as an ‘only.’ The memories of these days will be like a honeymoon someday. Just like those last days with you and Jason two years ago. The endings as sweet as beginnings when we take time to honor them.

    Maisha is right, your look is somehow transcedent and open and ready. This opening comes from your heart too Leigh – your surrender and love for this baby allowing you to expand into whatever this baby needs for birthing. Your trust and faith and belief in this voodou child is an inspiration to me.

    Can I ask a special favor in these last days? Before this magic one comes, will you whisper to this baby that his/her auntie Brookie really wants a baby – and could they invite a very special soul sister or brother to follow soon? Please? Pretty please?

    That’s all.

    I love you.

  4. Chelsea says:

    Beautiful post, beautiful mama, beautiful daughter…
    How exciting to wake up each morning thinking “this could be the day”…
    You are so ready for this new babe and this journey – let your body be your guide – let this baby do what it needs to do…
    Sending you vibes of love and strength for your birthing time… (and eagerly awaiting any news!)

  5. Ninotchka says:

    Awww, enjoy these last precious few days as a Mom of one! 🙂

  6. mb says:

    yaaah! i love seeing those photos…maybe you look a bit ‘ready’ but you also look so happy and relaxed, Leigh. I am so feeling you and feeling your joy…and hope…and faith.

    fantastic birth blessings to you, my dear one.

  7. Oh Leigh, I can’t believe the time is almost here. You are in the flow sister … I can feel it. The baby will come when it’s time; s/he knows how to be born, and you know how to do this birth. And you know all of this, which is the best part of all. I am sending you gentle and easy birthing vibes, sisterly strength and courage, and lots of lots of love.

  8. amygeekgrl says:

    thank you for the update. 🙂 glad to hear you are doing so well. you look wonderful! such a sweet, happy picture of you and kaia. 🙂 enjoy these last few days/weeks as a mama of one.
    thinking of you.

  9. Beth says:

    Thanks for updating for we curious onlookers! Can’t wait to hear your fabulous news.

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