Wedding Ring Drama

I have this “thing” with wedding rings. I lose them. Or, I lose parts of them.

When Jason and I shopped together for our wedding rings, we agreed we wanted something both very inexpensive and unique. We were ecstatic to find a guy out of Canada that that machined Titanium rings in his spare time. This was way before Titanium rings were all the rage and we liked them because they were cheap and lightweight. When they arrived, we were delighted with the results and they felt smooth and perfect on our hands (yes, we unconventionally wore them before we were married, as I didn’t want an engagement ring AND a wedding ring). Knowing they were made my hand by this person we had personally interacted with made them even more special, full of love and the sweat of creative work. They were engraved inside with a line from one of our favorite Ben Fold’s songs: “I loved you before I met you” (my ring) and “I met you just in time” (Jason’s ring). I can’t find a picture of it now, but it looked very similar to this:

A few years later, in the Jeep on our way to a friend’s wedding, I removed my ring to slather lotion on my hands. As always, I placed the ring in my lap. We parked shortly after that and when I got up, I heard the sound of the ring falling down into the abyss of the Jeep: “cling, cling, cling!” I searched frantically for it. We searched under the seats, in the cracks of the metal Jeep body, on the ground of the parking lot. It was nowhere to be found. I remained hopeful throughout the night that it would appear. It has never appeared.

A few weeks later at Christmas, my Mother coincidentally surprised me with a sparkly gift: the wedding ring set she had worn when she married my Dad. I hadn’t even told her that I’d lost mine! They are long divorced, but I had coveted the Sterling Silver, slightly antiqued set since I was very young. Every so often, I would climb on a wooden kitchen chair and carefully remove it from the cabinet where my Mama stored her valuable jewelry. I would open the case and watch it sparkle “like a holiday”. More than once, I had told my Mama I’d love to have this ring when I was married. Now, I’m not really a diamond girl at all, but the sentimentality of the ring meant so much to me, like a glittery moment from past. She had taken it to have it appraised and cleaned and I was proud and humbled to wear the ring my Mama had worn when she was my age.

About a year ago, as Jason and I rode to the grocery store, I looked down at the engagement band and gasped: gone was the beautiful, center diamond! With tears in my eyes, I could tell a prong had broken earlier. I racked my brain to try and remember if I hit my hand against something…Suddenly, I recalled how earlier that morning, while in the shower, I looked down near the drain at a chunky foreign object. Without my glasses on, I couldn’t identify what it was, but I know it didn’t belong in the shower. Thinking it was a big ol’ crusty booger or goodness knows what other nasty bodily object, I kicked it down the drain while saying “Gross!” Suddenly, I realized with sadness that it was the diamond I had haphazardly brushed into the abyss of the drain.

We hurried home and popped off the drain, peering down with a flashlight. Nothing. Later, we even used a special tool and still didn’t retrieve it. It has been long washed down with the rest of the shower water. Devastated, I continued to wear the wedding ring portion of the set, but my hand always felt a little empty. I knew I’d not likely have the time, energy, or money to replace it anytime soon. And so, the engagement ring, sans center diamond, sat lonely in my jewelry box. Just this past weekend, my visiting Papa said “Aw, you really should have that diamond replaced in your ring…”

Yesterday, my Mama called to wish me a happy Valentine’s Day. Then she told me a quick story. While visiting last month (and deep cleaning my entire house!), she had snuck off with the engagement ring. Back home in Indiana, she’d gotten the diamond replaced and had planned on asking Jason surprise me with it on Valentine’s Day. But, fearing I would worry about what happened to it (I didn’t’ even notice it was gone!), she wanted to tell me that it was in her safe hands, shortly to be in my not-so-safe hands. 

What a gift! What an amazing surprise! Honored, I relayed my sincere gratitude to her, so floored that she would go through the trouble to perform such an act of kindness. I coulda hugged her right through that phone! But, that’s my Mama. She is the Queen of totally personal gifts and surprises, always somehow knowing exactly what someone wants. And truly, she is more precious and sparkles much brighter than any diamond.

So, the question I’m popping today: shall I chance wearing the ring again?


7 Comments Add yours

  1. mb says:

    wear it! if this is not the perfect ring, though it sounds like it is, another one will come your way. they seem to. Again, our lives shape like a puzzle piece. I ahve the same problem. Not quite as bad as you my dear, but close behind.

    But before I go on, I must tell you something crazy. The photo of that ring is almost the exact same ring Bill and I came this close to buying for my wedding ring. I love the modern lines and the small floating diamond. But we didn’t buy it because at the time without my knowing, his mother offered to him his paternal grandma’s ring set from 1918. It was gorgeous and it was what he used to propose to me but him and i both agreed that we wanted something a but less bling and something we found ourselves. But we were so honored to have it and keep and if we ever went anywhere fancy, i’d wear it. Though I wore the diamond as the engagement ring for a few months. Until I slammed my hand against something, and a prong broke. I took it off and put it side to fix at a later date.

    So we went and picked out the most amazing light blue start sapphire for my actual wedding ring. Oh how is glowed and the star in it! It was galactic. I loved it. My friend made a chunky funky ring from it and that was that.

    Then one day while i was pregnant with Mia, i looked down and the saphire was gone. Fell out. My friend who made it felt it was her fault it fell out (though i knew it was loose for months) so she asked me to pick another stone and she’d re-set it. This time I picked moonstone.

    Then when I was pregnant with Sula, My moonstone ring did not fit my huge fingers and so i took to wearing the band that came with Grandma’s heirloom set. It was a platnuim band of diamonds. First 1 diamond fell out. Then another. Then another. And then one day it was gone. I have no idea where it fell but someone found aone nice ring. It had been around 90 years and looked perfect. i get it and ruin/loose them within 2 years. yikes.

    anyway, sorry to ramble but you remind me of me. luckily we can ‘let go’ of things. as we know the meaning behind them will stay with us forever.

    is it okay to write such a long/typo-filled comment?????NAK.


  2. leighsteele says:

    My friend, we are definately two fitting puzzle pieces that searched all our lives for each other. 🙂
    I loved the story you shared; makes me realize I’m not alone!

  3. Ninotchka says:

    Awww, I love your wedding ring “background.” Such beautiful memories. I say, chance it. I have a feeling you wouldn’t lose it again. 🙂

  4. amygeekgrl says:

    i once had a pair of diamonds earrings eaten by my dog. thankfully they were from an ex-boyfriend so i didn’t worry too much about them, though they *were* diamonds so i did my fair share of digging thru dog doo, only to have them never resurface.
    anyway, i imagine the sadness i felt with losing them was nothing compared to what you went thru w/ the wedding rings.
    but such a touching story that your mom had the diamond replaced for you and wanted jason to surprise you. so sweet. 🙂
    i think you should wear it too. maybe this is the ring you were meant to have all along. 😉

    hmm, my comment didn’t show up. i’m trying this again.

  5. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that you might want to consider getting the ring insured. That way you would be covered no matter what ;). My ring is insured for ~$6000 for $60/year, so it’s not very expensive.

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