Arbitrary Babble

         MLK on homebirth (well, not really, but it is a perfect quote to summarize my conviction about birth in general):  “Cowardice asks the question, Is it safe? Expediency asks the question, Is it politic? Vanity asks the question, Is it popular? But conscience asks the question, Is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him that it is right.”  —Martin Luther King, Jr.  

 

         Why, oh why, is it that when all you want to find is healthy, organic, whole fat, low-sugar yogurt for your kid all that the markets stock are freakin’ blue-iced raspberry, lowfat, goop loaded with high fructose corn syrup and emblazoned with photos of cartoon characters?  I just want to be able to walk into a store and not have to check the back of labels any more (thank goodness for health food stores).  Is that too much to ask? 

 

         I am spinach-green with envy at folks who can stick a fork into their salads without looking and just gobble up whatever gift o’ goodness the fork may bring into their mouths.  Salad eating is an entire process for me.  I must have the perfect balance of greens, crunch (i.e. croutons or sesame seeds), protein (egg or beans), and cheese on every single forkful.  This is embarrassing, as it sometimes require I pick up bits of the stuff with my finger and place them on my fork.  Or, worst case, I just cram them in my mouth to hasten the process. 

 

         And on that note, if and when I eat French fries, I don’t eat the last bit that is being held in my fingers.  Tell me, what is your obsessive-compulsive eating habit/ritual? 

 

         Is it acceptable to observe and do nothing (other than the obligatory “Please don’t do that”) as your daughter scrawls on a wooden chair with a pencil, or dumps an entire bag or pretzels on the carpet, or dunks her food in the dog’s water bowl because you are too damn tired to remove your pregnant body from your cozy seat? 

 

         There is really no good reason to honk at someone 1.5 seconds after the green arrow shows up.  I’m GOING already.  And I’m cranky.  And I have a kid in tow.  And I’m pregnant!  So, I honk right back and wait just a few more seconds before I budge.  Pfftttt! 

 

         What is the universe trying to tell me when I manage to screw up something as simple as baked potatoes? 

 

         POLL:  Do you shower face first into the water flow, or back against the water flow?  I find this intriguing.  I’ve always showered back against the flow, but it seems that movies and TV always show people showering face first into the water flow.  I don’t get it.  Doesn’t the water constantly in your eyes bug you? I tried it yesterday and it was colder this way too…just didn’t seem to cover my body quite right.  And you don’t get the added bonus of the direct back massage effect. 

 

         How do you attempt to remove a massive glob of embedded honey from your carpet (courtesy of my lovely dog)?  And I can’t rip the carpet out (believe me, I’d love to) because it’s a rent house. 

 

         Yoga feels much better outside, in the gentle breeze and shade of a tree, to the soundtrack of nature.  Still, my arms ache in warrior pose (I know this will get easier, MB.  Thank you for guiding me deeper).  

 

         I’ve been trying to give appropriate attention to honing my intuition.  I think about intuitive energies I’ve met and I notice they are gently intuitive with all of their senses;  their limbs, and words, and breath, and thoughts, and visions.   I feel like I have so much work to do, and yet I also know I must have patience and gratitude for what already flows through me.  I’ve often dammed up that flowing river.   Can I let it break free now and ride with the current, or should I release it purposefully and thoughtfully a little bit at a time?  I liked this quote about strengthening intuition:  “You May Not Receive the Answer Immediately.  If you don’t understand something (i.e. a message you’ve received), ask for clarification. It is possible to get your guidance in dreams, for instance. Many people ask for intuitive guidance during a meditation and don’t receive information immediately. You may find that the insight you desire will come seemingly unbidden at some point later in the day while you’re involved in other tasks.”  Yes, my dreams.  My dreams.   

 

         My friend MW gifted me a deep cranberry, soft leather bound journal for my birthday.  Just yesterday, I opened it slowly and flipped the pages over and over, my nose in the book, breathing in the grainy leather and lined paper and the intoxicating scent of blank space.  I held it gingerly, staring at the embossed graphic on the front and asked guidance for what purpose the journal would hold.   A dream journal.   And now, a place to jot down those messages from my intuition.  How perfect. 

 

         Just the other day, I was marveling at the uniqueness of an almond.  Really, it’s one of nature’s simple and perfect foods.  I held the “almond-shaped” (haha) food in my hand and felt its rippled shell.   It sat nicely in my palm like a well-loved worry stone.  I noticed the pattern and grain, resembling age lines in trees, and I imagined the tree that grew it from seed and nourished this tiny nut.  As I placed it in my mouth and crunched it slowly, I relished the “nutty” (haha again), hearty, oh-so-Earthy flavor and texture.  I envisioned the almond delivering protein and “good fat” and antioxidants to my fibers and cells, and to my baby.  I don’t often take time to do this (as I typically “eat to live”) but I love to honor foods in this way.  I think they then love me and honor me back…and it’s a wonderful, nutty feeling.

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6 thoughts on “Arbitrary Babble

  1. girl,
    your intuition is on fire. so are your words.

    my obsessive compulsive eating ritual is obsessively and compulsively eating! seriously, I have to eat pizza from the crust end to the point. I absolutely cannot eat it another way. The point is my favorite and must be saved for last.

    I am amazed. Your shower thing. I have wondered that so very many times. I am ‘back facing’ the water at all times except when I rinse off my face. We are soul sisters!!!

    xo
    m

  2. MB – LOL at you my soul sister! I absolutely could NOT eat a pizza that way. It just seems so…unbalanced, like going from the top of the pyramid down. Regardless, I love you totally for it.
    Really, you are an “against the flow” showerer too? So glad to know there are some of us out there and that you’ve pondered this as well.
    XOXO.
    Leigh

  3. Shower – I cannot commit (what a surprise). I flip around numerous times.

    Food – um, when I eat ravoli or chocolate bars or anything I like to eat all around the edges and outsides and then eat the inside layer by layer….I hate it when I can’t eat like that – it does not taste as good.

    The french fry thing is weird though….so do you end up with a plate of little rejected french fry bits?

    Am jealous of all the words flowing from you – I cannot seem to find a single one to write – and I’ve been trying. Where did my words go?

  4. I have to admit, your french fry thing has always bugged me, what with all the wasted fried, salty, bad-for-you goodness. My food idiosyncrasies are usually of the “I won’t eat it” kind.

    Also, I never really thought about it, but I think I am a face first into the shower girl.

  5. i LOVE that quote by MLK. how amazingly powerful.

    wait til you have two kids. 😉 i’m often surprised with what i’ll let slide with ava now because i’m too tired to tell her to stop.

    can’t think of any weird food things i have. hmmm.

    i think i’m mostly a back-first shower girl, though i do like to get my face and head wet first, then i turn around.

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