Although our darling daughter is now with us (yahoo!), I felt I needed to take some time to share some recollections since my last journal entry on June 20, 2005.
As the end of June drew near, I finally began to feel “ready”. I never really understood what this meant when people asked “Are you ready?” I loved being pregnant, every darn moment. I loved the way I felt, looked, walked (even though I guess I waddled). I loved the things it made me think about and wonder about. I wasn’t ready to give it up. Finally, at some point, I began to understand. I was anxious to meet Kaia and was getting exhausted at the end of the day. It became difficult to make my way into work in the summer heat and I was trying hard to train my replacement at work on the tasks and duties of my job. I felt like it was never ending! There was always so much to do. The anticipation of our daughter’s birth, and of my Mom and family arriving soon, finally made me feel “ready”.
At our June 27th prenatal appointment, I was thrilled to find out that our hard work had paid off – Kaia had turned into an anterior position! It felt wonderful to know that she was in an ideal position for birthing and I felt like I had really accomplished something great, with Kaia’s teamwork. Marinah and I sat together on my bed and talked through an imaginary birth story. We took turns finishing parts of the story until it was completed. Telling the story was more challenging that I thought it would be…never having ever been through birth, I wasn’t sure where to begin, end, or what came next! I had certainly done this a hundred times in my head, but articulating it was much more difficult. Marinah was awesome at guiding me, helping me to really think about and imagine a birth scenario. We talked about laboring here at home, in the birth tub, and basking in the afterglow of birth together as a family.
Our birthing tub was delivered the next day, but we didn’t set it up until my Mom arrived later that week (with Marinah’s gentle prodding “Ya know, I’ve seen many first time parents not have it set up in time!”). Jason filled it with warm Arizona summer water and I immediately donned my bathing suit and hopped in. It felt amazing to be buoyant and the warm jets were a welcome massage! I closed my eyes and envisioned my baby entering the world in this soothing environment. It was overwhelming and wonderful!
Jason and I worked together to finish some last minute home improvement projects – installing curtains and finishing our bathroom remodel. Having these completed brought a sense of peace to both of us. I mean, how could we have our baby without a fabulous remodeled bathroom? Haha. I also got my eyebrows waxed, which seemed very important at the time. I couldn’t let Kaia be scared away by my bushy brows!
I had always really felt that Kaia would come to us in June. But June came and went and the temperatures in Phoenix began to rise. July was upon us. Now, I really wanted an Independence Day baby! It would work out great since it was a 3 day weekend anyways and I’d be off work. I got a kick out of the fact that while I was at work, coworkers would stop by and be surprised that I was still in the office. I was planning on working until the end. One of my bosses said “You are crazy for planning on coming in your due date. You should just work from home”. I replied that sooooo few babies ever come on their due date and I would be in right after the 3 day holiday weekend. I left work early on Friday and packed up my laptop.